I will not be speaking at the Prince William County (VA) school board meeting next week where they will vote on adding sexual orientation and gender identity to the school district's non-discrimination policy, because I am not a resident of Prince William County. However, I have a lot of things to say to everyone concerned in the matter, so I'm writing some open letters. Think of it kind of like an amicus brief. I was going to do them all in one post, but they started to get long and I started to run out of time, so here is the first, most important one:
To the Prince William County School Board,
Next week, you have the chance to decide whether to protect some of your most vulnerable students, or to give a carte blanche to those who would harass LGBTQ students, deny rights to transgender students, and jeopardize not just the education but the lives of these students.
If you oppose the policy change, ask yourself if you really believe a class of students should be excluded from fair treatment, or if you're just uncomfortable with those who are different from you, or with the ire of those who hate others just for being different.
Separate is never equal. Unless a transgender student specifically requests it for their comfort or safety, making a trans student use a separate bathroom due to superficial characteristics is inherently unfair. I say superficial because no matter our physical configuration, we are all human and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Is it respectful to turn a blind eye to the bullying faced by LGBTQ students? Is it dignified for a transgender student to to stigmatized by being excluded from bathrooms and locker rooms?
I hope you have listened, and will listen, those who are directly concerned in this policy change - the LGBTQ students and staff of Prince William County. They are the ones who will be most significantly benefited, or mostly deeply harmed, by whether or not you choose to approve this change. For LGBTQ students facing harassment and the resulting isolation, depression and anxiety, this could be a life or death issue.
Some of you had questions about how the policy would be implemented. But these questions are just dancing around the heart of the matter - that some people are uncomfortable with trans people in bathrooms and locker rooms, and are coming up with endless, but vaguely phrased, questions to create delay and to cover up and avoid facing their discomfort with trans people. The actual implementation could be very simple. The sexual orientation part could be handled with a memo informing everyone, "Harassment or discrimination based on sexual orientation is not to be tolerated." The social transition of transgender students could be handled with IEP's, allowing each trans student to realize their social transition in their own way, and creating no extra work for the Board. There is no need to waste time discussing this, when the real issue is: some people don't want trans people in bathrooms and locker rooms, no matter how you implement it.
I implore you examine the reasons why. Do you really believe trans students are a danger to other students, or that they just want to use the bathroom and change for gym the same as anyone else? Do you really believe trans people, who are incredibly anxious about their body parts, would willingly let anyone see them? Or that trans students nervous about being accepted would do anything untoward in the bathroom or locker room? Or that it is acceptable for other students and parents to pry into a trans student's privacy, wanting to know about their genitals or how they go to the bathroom? This is what the debate is about. "How" is just an excuse to avoid facing the question of "why." Because all the answer boils down to is, "They're different." Trans people's gender identities are different from the "norm." And that is no valid reason to exclude them. That is the very definition of discrimination.
The bathroom debate also calls into question the validity of transgender identities. This is not something new or made up. Trans people have been around as long as people have - prehistoric remains have been found that were "physically" one gender but buried in a fashion usually reserved for the other binary gender, indicating that even in prehistoric times, there seem to have been transgender people. Gender variance occurs across a wide range of cultures and throughout history. Physical sex characteristics even vary, since about 1% of the population is born intersex. Moreover, gender dysphoria is recognized by the American Psychological Association and the American Medical Association with the recommended treatment being supporting trans people in living as the gender they identify with. Not allowing transgender students and staff to use the restrooms consistent with their gender identities would be ignoring their medical needs.
You could debate the implementation of the policy forever - and that is what anti-transgender activists want you to do, not just to avoid implementing protection for LGBTQ, and especially the T, students and staff, but also to disguise their real motive - hate and discrimination for no other reasons than misunderstanding, fear and ignorance of those who are different, an inflated imaginary threat that bears no resemblance to real medical basis, psychological struggles and fundamental humanity of trans people. Do not be distracted by their inflammatory falsehoods and needless delaying tactics from the real question: what is fair? For some students to be bullied and denied access to school facilities, just because of the sense of self they were born with? Is that really something you want to stand for? Or would you rather stand for respectful, equitable treatment of all students?
Showing posts with label social justice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label social justice. Show all posts
Friday, September 16, 2016
Thursday, June 30, 2016
Be a Pro-Feminist? No, Thanks.
Immediately after reading this comic on Everyday Feminism, I didn't think I'd have such a strong opinion on it (I thought this was just going to be a Facebook post at first) but the more I wrote, the more I thought about it, the more it made no sense that only women can and should do the work of gender equality, that is, be feminists. Making a distinction between feminists and "pro-feminists" makes it sound like some of us get to just sit back and watch while only women can be in the movement doing the actual work. And then if you take a look at where to draw the line between feminists and pro-feminists from a non-binary perspective, it just gets messy.
The argument that men (or non-women) can't be feminists because they're allies and not part of the community is flawed because the community of women is different from the community of feminists. Being a woman does not always equate with being a feminist; it's a mode of thinking, not an innately arising state such as being gay or trans. Being a mode of thinking, and acting, which is not dependent on biology, it follows that anyone should be able to pick it up. (Hey, I just realized, is this another form of biological determinism?!)
Also, while feminism is certainly led by women, and a large part of it is about empowering women, in recent years the rhetoric of gender equality has taken a broader turn. "Feminism" now includes not only empowerment of women, but breaking down harmful stereotypes of masculinity and making space for non-binary people. I'm not necessarily saying that the term "feminism" is outdated, because women's issues do need and deserve a heavy focus, but the topic of gender equality has become more nuanced. There's work for everyone to do, and people who are not women should be doing it too. They can't (most of the time) be women, but they can be someone who supports women/gender equality, i.e. a feminist.
Furthermore, I don't necessarily think it's the case that allies can't be part of the community. When the gf and I were at Freddie's Beach Bar (a gay bar in the DC area) the weekend before last, the sense of community was palpable, even if there were plenty of straight people there. Yes, sometimes LGBTQIA+ people need a space without straight, cis people, but sometimes they can also be part of the community. It depends on the group / space, and this need can (and should be) made clear upfront. For instance, a transmasculine group I belong to usually welcomes SOFFAs (significant others, friends, family and allies), but for their "top surgery show and tell," they limit the meeting to people who have had or are interested in top surgery. This no doubt helps the people showing their post-surgery chests feel more comfortable.
I would not want to intrude on a feminist space that was women-only. (As an aside, it goes without saying that a women-only space should include transfeminine people as well, and that it should be up to the individual to decide if they're feminine enough to attend.) Since I'm not a woman, I would feel wildly uncomfortable in such a space. But I would happily participate in a feminist space that was open to everyone. As an AFAB, non-binary person, there are things I can contribute to and gain from the feminist movement. There are things that cis men can contribute and gain too. Calling us "pro-feminist" puts us at a distance, like all we have to do is stand on the sidelines and cheer, when in fact the feminist movement needs all of us to actively participate.
At the end of the day, "feminist" and "pro-feminist" are just words, and actions speak louder. Just as there are bad "male feminists," there can also be good "pro-feminists" who are very active in helping the feminist cause. The social justice community loves to argue about labels, energy which could be better spent tackling injustices. Still, if I met a feminist who said that feminism is just for women, I would have to ask her if she's throwing non-binary people under the bus, if we're somehow not included in her vision of gender equality. Gender equality is for everybody. "Feminism" just happens to be the name of strongest, most well-known movement that's fighting for it. If someone's feminism doesn't include me, then I don't want any part of it either.
The upshot is, if I met someone who insisted that men be "pro-feminists" instead of feminists, I'd want to have a thorough talk with that person to see just who else is not included in her vision of feminism and femininity. Trans women? Non-binary people? I'm not saying this is a code word for trans exclusion, but it does seem to signal a lack of awareness about the spectrum of gender, to be trying to draw a line through something that's continuous and fluid. Insisting on a dichotomy between men and women is what got this whole inequality thing started in the first place, and we can only eradicate it by working together, by embracing the breadth of gender and supporting everyone's right to be themselves and be loved, happy and successful no matter what their biology, and not by making the movement an exclusive club.
Basically, if someone wants to have a group or space that's only for women feminists, then that's fine. Sometimes I want to just be with other non-binary people to talk about our non-binary issues. But if someone's vision of the whole movement is "by women, for women," then why I should even be bothered to support it? It's not just that there seems to be nothing in it for me, but that even my support and participation are unwelcome. Meanwhile, if feminism does advocate for equality for all genders and call on the active participation of all genders as well, then why not allow us all to be part of the movement, in name as well as in action?
The argument that men (or non-women) can't be feminists because they're allies and not part of the community is flawed because the community of women is different from the community of feminists. Being a woman does not always equate with being a feminist; it's a mode of thinking, not an innately arising state such as being gay or trans. Being a mode of thinking, and acting, which is not dependent on biology, it follows that anyone should be able to pick it up. (Hey, I just realized, is this another form of biological determinism?!)
Also, while feminism is certainly led by women, and a large part of it is about empowering women, in recent years the rhetoric of gender equality has taken a broader turn. "Feminism" now includes not only empowerment of women, but breaking down harmful stereotypes of masculinity and making space for non-binary people. I'm not necessarily saying that the term "feminism" is outdated, because women's issues do need and deserve a heavy focus, but the topic of gender equality has become more nuanced. There's work for everyone to do, and people who are not women should be doing it too. They can't (most of the time) be women, but they can be someone who supports women/gender equality, i.e. a feminist.
Furthermore, I don't necessarily think it's the case that allies can't be part of the community. When the gf and I were at Freddie's Beach Bar (a gay bar in the DC area) the weekend before last, the sense of community was palpable, even if there were plenty of straight people there. Yes, sometimes LGBTQIA+ people need a space without straight, cis people, but sometimes they can also be part of the community. It depends on the group / space, and this need can (and should be) made clear upfront. For instance, a transmasculine group I belong to usually welcomes SOFFAs (significant others, friends, family and allies), but for their "top surgery show and tell," they limit the meeting to people who have had or are interested in top surgery. This no doubt helps the people showing their post-surgery chests feel more comfortable.
I would not want to intrude on a feminist space that was women-only. (As an aside, it goes without saying that a women-only space should include transfeminine people as well, and that it should be up to the individual to decide if they're feminine enough to attend.) Since I'm not a woman, I would feel wildly uncomfortable in such a space. But I would happily participate in a feminist space that was open to everyone. As an AFAB, non-binary person, there are things I can contribute to and gain from the feminist movement. There are things that cis men can contribute and gain too. Calling us "pro-feminist" puts us at a distance, like all we have to do is stand on the sidelines and cheer, when in fact the feminist movement needs all of us to actively participate.
At the end of the day, "feminist" and "pro-feminist" are just words, and actions speak louder. Just as there are bad "male feminists," there can also be good "pro-feminists" who are very active in helping the feminist cause. The social justice community loves to argue about labels, energy which could be better spent tackling injustices. Still, if I met a feminist who said that feminism is just for women, I would have to ask her if she's throwing non-binary people under the bus, if we're somehow not included in her vision of gender equality. Gender equality is for everybody. "Feminism" just happens to be the name of strongest, most well-known movement that's fighting for it. If someone's feminism doesn't include me, then I don't want any part of it either.
The upshot is, if I met someone who insisted that men be "pro-feminists" instead of feminists, I'd want to have a thorough talk with that person to see just who else is not included in her vision of feminism and femininity. Trans women? Non-binary people? I'm not saying this is a code word for trans exclusion, but it does seem to signal a lack of awareness about the spectrum of gender, to be trying to draw a line through something that's continuous and fluid. Insisting on a dichotomy between men and women is what got this whole inequality thing started in the first place, and we can only eradicate it by working together, by embracing the breadth of gender and supporting everyone's right to be themselves and be loved, happy and successful no matter what their biology, and not by making the movement an exclusive club.
Basically, if someone wants to have a group or space that's only for women feminists, then that's fine. Sometimes I want to just be with other non-binary people to talk about our non-binary issues. But if someone's vision of the whole movement is "by women, for women," then why I should even be bothered to support it? It's not just that there seems to be nothing in it for me, but that even my support and participation are unwelcome. Meanwhile, if feminism does advocate for equality for all genders and call on the active participation of all genders as well, then why not allow us all to be part of the movement, in name as well as in action?
Monday, June 1, 2015
Anger
The post I made last week (about my frustrations with society's expectations of trans men and mainstream cis folks' difficulties with correctly gendering non-passing/non-binary trans* folk) left me a little uneasy.
On the one hand, I felt that my anger was valid, and that it was my right, perhaps even my duty, to express it. Nothing says oppression like being forced to stay silent. Moreover, I would be doing nothing to enact change if I stayed silent; and I would be doing less, delivering a weaker blow to oppression, if I didn't unleash the full force of my anger upon it.
On other hand, not only do I profess and personally believe in writing and enacting change from a position of benevolence and compassion, I know that to do otherwise is actually counterproductive. Angry discourse only polarizes people more. It makes people hurt and angry, making them into enemies and not supporters. It's simply not an effective way to go about winning people to your side for a cause.
And yet. I was angry. And I had to express myself, or else explode. At least I got it out in writing, and not in physical violence, right? Was there anything so very wrong with that?
Feeling anger is quite natural, and expressing it or working through it are not only natural, but necessary. But pouring out anger in a violent outburst - even one made only on the internet, directed more at a society as a whole than at one particular person - can inflict the sort of damage anger is meant to prevent.
Anger is a protective mechanism, a surge of energy spurring you to defend yourself against a threat. But unless you need that adrenaline rush to physically fight off an attacker (or even then - we can get into whether violence is justified in self defense another time..) expressing anger, explosively, virulently, without moderation, is likely to do more harm than good. To your opponent, yes, but also to your cause, and yourself.
That's because anger makes the other side into the enemy, and makes us want to crush that enemy in order to assuage the churning of anger inside us. Actually, where anger comes from is hurt, and makes us want to hurt the person (or persons, or thing, or whatever) that hurt us, in turn. My anger stemmed from my discomfort at how the media was portraying trans men, and the threat to my self image from cis people saying trans* people should fit certain images of masculinity or femininity in order to be acknowledged. Those were thorns under my skin, and I lashed out to assuage that pain.
It's important to note that my discomfort and pain at the sexist and cissexist world were not invalid, and were worthy both of being addressed and of calling for work for a solution. But there are less destructive/ more constructive ways to deal with pain than lashing out in anger. Breathing exercises. Walking meditation. And, you know, talking it out with the person concerned, if the conflict was with a specific person - which I did do later, although I don't know how effectively, since I'm pretty terrible at in-person interaction.
The thing is, pouring out my anger through the keyboard may have spent that outburst - but it likely did nothing to address the underlying pain and the underlying problem with society.
The only way to let go of my own pain is through practice. Suffering comes from attachment - and that can be over-attachment to an idea, at the expense of what is really good for me and the people around me. Identity is not something that can be affixed with a permanent label, so how much does it really matter what people call me, or how "masculinity" or "femininity" are defined? It does matter, of course. It matters when words and images are used as weapons to hurt, as fences to confine and oppress. But they only work if I let them. I can flow like water past your weapons and under your fences, and then calmly take them apart with compassionate hands. ...At least, if I practiced more, I could.
And the only way to solve the problem with society is to recognize that oppression causes ALL people to suffer, and while the suffering of the oppressed may be the most obvious, the suffering of the oppressors is the underlying cause of the whole thing. Dr. John Makransky, professor of Buddhism at Boston College and lama in the lineage of Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche, spoke about this in an interview about how anger relates to social justice:
Rather than acting out anger, we can use our concern about social issues or our own suffering to engage in what Dr. Makransky calls "confrontational compassion":
And a part of me still thinks, if I don't express myself, explicitly and vociferously, then how will cis people ever know how I feel? How will they be able to have compassion for trans* people if they don't know how we suffer? And if I have to hold back my anger, doesn't that make me complicit in my own oppression? With the sort of things that happen to trans* people, don't I have a right to be angry? Shouldn't everyone be angry, when confronted with the alarming numbers of attacks and murders and suicides that happen to the trans* population?
But everyone being angry would still solve nothing. So I guess more practice is just what the doctor ordered, for all of us.
There are lots of resources out there on dealing with anger, but here are what some of my favorite Buddhist teachers have to say on it:
Thich Nhat Hanh on Loosening the Knots of Anger
Thubten Chodron - How Can We Deal With Anger?
Also, I found a cool site devoted to World Empathy.
And in case you don't know, what Yoda said is, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to sufffferringgg." :)
On the one hand, I felt that my anger was valid, and that it was my right, perhaps even my duty, to express it. Nothing says oppression like being forced to stay silent. Moreover, I would be doing nothing to enact change if I stayed silent; and I would be doing less, delivering a weaker blow to oppression, if I didn't unleash the full force of my anger upon it.
On other hand, not only do I profess and personally believe in writing and enacting change from a position of benevolence and compassion, I know that to do otherwise is actually counterproductive. Angry discourse only polarizes people more. It makes people hurt and angry, making them into enemies and not supporters. It's simply not an effective way to go about winning people to your side for a cause.
And yet. I was angry. And I had to express myself, or else explode. At least I got it out in writing, and not in physical violence, right? Was there anything so very wrong with that?
Feeling anger is quite natural, and expressing it or working through it are not only natural, but necessary. But pouring out anger in a violent outburst - even one made only on the internet, directed more at a society as a whole than at one particular person - can inflict the sort of damage anger is meant to prevent.
Anger is a protective mechanism, a surge of energy spurring you to defend yourself against a threat. But unless you need that adrenaline rush to physically fight off an attacker (or even then - we can get into whether violence is justified in self defense another time..) expressing anger, explosively, virulently, without moderation, is likely to do more harm than good. To your opponent, yes, but also to your cause, and yourself.
That's because anger makes the other side into the enemy, and makes us want to crush that enemy in order to assuage the churning of anger inside us. Actually, where anger comes from is hurt, and makes us want to hurt the person (or persons, or thing, or whatever) that hurt us, in turn. My anger stemmed from my discomfort at how the media was portraying trans men, and the threat to my self image from cis people saying trans* people should fit certain images of masculinity or femininity in order to be acknowledged. Those were thorns under my skin, and I lashed out to assuage that pain.
It's important to note that my discomfort and pain at the sexist and cissexist world were not invalid, and were worthy both of being addressed and of calling for work for a solution. But there are less destructive/ more constructive ways to deal with pain than lashing out in anger. Breathing exercises. Walking meditation. And, you know, talking it out with the person concerned, if the conflict was with a specific person - which I did do later, although I don't know how effectively, since I'm pretty terrible at in-person interaction.
The thing is, pouring out my anger through the keyboard may have spent that outburst - but it likely did nothing to address the underlying pain and the underlying problem with society.
The only way to let go of my own pain is through practice. Suffering comes from attachment - and that can be over-attachment to an idea, at the expense of what is really good for me and the people around me. Identity is not something that can be affixed with a permanent label, so how much does it really matter what people call me, or how "masculinity" or "femininity" are defined? It does matter, of course. It matters when words and images are used as weapons to hurt, as fences to confine and oppress. But they only work if I let them. I can flow like water past your weapons and under your fences, and then calmly take them apart with compassionate hands. ...At least, if I practiced more, I could.
And the only way to solve the problem with society is to recognize that oppression causes ALL people to suffer, and while the suffering of the oppressed may be the most obvious, the suffering of the oppressors is the underlying cause of the whole thing. Dr. John Makransky, professor of Buddhism at Boston College and lama in the lineage of Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche, spoke about this in an interview about how anger relates to social justice:
When people undergo great suffering under oppressive social systems, we may feel strongly connected to those suffering most intensely—for example, those who lack access to resources in countries where a tiny percentage of people control virtually everything. For most people, it seems normal to hate those in charge of such a system. But as we’ve been saying, we must acknowledge that those who maintain such systems do so from their own inner patterns of fear, from their own attempts to establish safe ground for themselves.What else is transphobia but fear of transgenderism - fear of people who are different, fear at the possibility that you yourself may be different. And we know what Yoda says about fear. The only way to solve the problems with how society treats trans* people is to treat their fear. Anger will not do that; it will only entrench people deeper in their fear, and drive them to anger, hate, and violence out of feeling threatened.
Rather than acting out anger, we can use our concern about social issues or our own suffering to engage in what Dr. Makransky calls "confrontational compassion":
Authentic compassion may forcefully challenge the system. Sometimes such compassion can take a powerful confrontational form, as occurred with Gandhi, Martin Luther King, the Dalai Lama, and Aung San Suu Kyi. But this differs from anger, because instead of aiming to protect oneself or one’s own position against others, it aims to protect all others, by challenging all in different ways. It can challenge those who cling to a bad system to give others greater freedom. It can challenge those who have been abused to rediscover their great worth and power for good. Unlike self-righteous anger, which hates the “bad ones” on behalf of the “good ones,” confrontational compassion protects all by challenging all differently—those suffering injustices and those inflicting them. It upholds all in their fuller humanity and potential for greater freedom from fear, hatred, and suffering.So what of my angry post then? Well, I actually feel like I ended on a note of confrontational compassion, as I challenged cis people to recognize the suffering of trans* people and to extend them the small kindness of affirming their identities. It took me a while to get there, though. It took some strong words about my own suffering and some pretty venomous sarcasm about how people who don't fit gender norms are treated. I can't quite find it in myself to take back what I said, although I know it only adds to the suffering of the world - it hardens my own heart, and antagonizes the people I most need to reach.
And a part of me still thinks, if I don't express myself, explicitly and vociferously, then how will cis people ever know how I feel? How will they be able to have compassion for trans* people if they don't know how we suffer? And if I have to hold back my anger, doesn't that make me complicit in my own oppression? With the sort of things that happen to trans* people, don't I have a right to be angry? Shouldn't everyone be angry, when confronted with the alarming numbers of attacks and murders and suicides that happen to the trans* population?
But everyone being angry would still solve nothing. So I guess more practice is just what the doctor ordered, for all of us.
There are lots of resources out there on dealing with anger, but here are what some of my favorite Buddhist teachers have to say on it:
Thich Nhat Hanh on Loosening the Knots of Anger
Thubten Chodron - How Can We Deal With Anger?
Also, I found a cool site devoted to World Empathy.
And in case you don't know, what Yoda said is, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to sufffferringgg." :)
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Being a better anti-racist
Awhile back I found this list of "Common Racist Attitudes and Behaviors (that indicate a wrong turn into white guilt, denial or defensiveness)." Being that I feel more motivated by positive directives rather than being told don't do this and don't do that, I decided to write a list of attitudes and behaviors that an anti-racist should embrace.
That being said, I think it is important to read the original list as well. There are a lot of particular phrases and arguments in there that it would do well to steer clear of. So after checking out that list, here's my list of things I feel one should do to be a better anti-racist. It's long and jumps about a bit and repeats itself slightly - but hopefully there are some nuggets of wisdom in there anyway. Most of these points could be applied to other forms of discrimination and prejudice as well.
Last disclaimer: I didn't know or come up with most of this stuff - I'm just spouting my reflections on the St. Cloud document I linked to above. The real credit goes to them for compiling that very eye-opening list of racist attitudes and behaviors. Here are my thoughts on how to take action on them:
1. Celebrate different appearances and cultures. There is so much richness in the world! There's no need to try and ignore it and make everyone the same. Same is boring!
2. Realize that racism may have played a role in your success and that of others in your family, community, etc. Realize that racism still exists and is still making it harder for people of color to succeed. The playing field is not level. Do what you can to be fair to each individual based on this realization. Fair is not equal. Fair is what's right based on the situation. (Maybe more later on this slogan that I stole from teaching!)
3. Confront your privilege, not people who are pointing it out or reacting to it. It might feel uncomfortable. That's not reverse racism. That's just your conscience. It's ok. It's good that you have one. Now, use that conscience and discomfort to sympathize with people of color and to get energized for acting against racism.
4. Take responsibility. Even if you were not directly responsible for a racist incident, racism as a whole is the fault of white people. (In the US, anyway. In other countries, things may be different, such as Asian countries where one dominant ethnic group is favored over others.) Trying to shift the blame is grossly unfair. Instead, accept the problem and tackle it head on.
5. Work with people of color, not for them. We can only achieve progress against racism through understanding, cooperation and unity. If you're so inclined, get to know people of color and work with them to fight racism. If you're not so inclined...well, it's going to be hard for you to fight racism if you don't actually know any people of color.
6. Listen. If people of color are hurt or offended by something you or others do, it's a sign you should change it and/or oppose it. Even if it was a joke. Why would you want to continue doing something that hurts others??
7. Examine your thoughts and behavior. Especially if you have been called out for doing or saying something racist. Racism is very insidious. I still catch myself making assumptions about people based on race. It could be something automatic you don't even think about, or a way of thinking or perceiving people that you don't even realize is racist. The first step to solving the problem is acknowledging it. To change my thoughts, I adopted the slogan "we're all people" to stop myself from judging others based on skin color (sexual orientation, income level, etc) and remind myself of everyone's basic worth as a human being.
8. Use your own experience to empathize, but not to divert attention. Internally, you can think about the times you faced oppression or hardship in order to create compassion for a person facing racism. Externally, talking about your experience will probably not help, just like if a friend came to you with a problem and you just blabbed about yourself instead of listening to him or her.
9. Educate yourself. There's no excuse for not knowing about the state of the world today. You have news at your fingertips, and if you read it, you will find that sadly, there is very much that is unjust going on in the world. (This is something I need to work on myself - I don't read the news nearly often enough.)
10. Stay focused. There are times when multiple forms of oppression need to be addressed at once, or when you may need to ally with people fighting other forms of discrimination (see #17). But if other forms of oppression are not relevant to the issue at hand, then you should stay focused on the problem of racism, and not bring up other topics.
11. Examine institutions critically. Racism is institutionalized. That's what makes it racism and not just prejudice. Society as a whole has ingrained patterns that discriminate against people of color, and institutions such as law enforcement, schools, media and business reflect these patterns. Question the messages that institutions send.
12. It's not who you know, it's what you do. Just having personal interactions with people of color isn't usually enough to make someone an anti-racist. You have to be willing to question your actions and beliefs, question the way our society works and take action to change things.
13. Do something! It can be scary to confront racism, but imagine how much worse it is for the person experiencing it. Saying sorry afterward is too late - do what you can to stop racism when/before it happens. Better yet, get involved in a larger effort to stop racism altogether.
14. Educate others. Instead of making excuses for your friend or relative who says or does racist things, communicate with that person about why what they're doing is offensive and hurtful. It might take several tries. It might take a lifetime. Nothing's going to change if you don't try.
15. Realize that racism is the default in US society. Everyone has it; it's transmitted to us by our parents, our schools and communities, the media, filling us with assumptions about people we've never met, assumptions that breed misunderstanding, fear, dislike, intolerance and hate, assumptions that are heavily skewed to give power to whites and deny it to people of color. And because everyone has it, it's everyone's problem. You can't avoid it. In order to change things, everyone has to acknowledge the problem and work together for a more just society.
16. Make yourself something to be proud of. You don't need to appropriate someone else's culture to show how enlightened you are. Doing so is actually just another form of oppression. Instead, make yourself and your culture something to be proud of, by showing compassion and understanding for others, refusing to oppress others and working to dismantle the societal patterns that do so. You have the power to give up your power. Don't run away from that decision by pretending to be something you're not!
17. Make anti-racism part of your portfolio. So you're a gay rights activist, or an activist for people with disabilities, or a feminist. That's great! Why not also be an anti-racist? Why stand for any kind of discrimination or oppression? We should take a stand against oppression whenever and wherever we see it - no one of these causes takes precedence over another, and there's no reason why if you stand for one, you can't stand for the others as well.
18. Address the overall problem. Racism is not just individual acts of prejudice, it's a pattern of such acts that forms an institution of oppression against people of color. Individual acts of prejudice are generally signs of that pattern acting itself out in your group, community, organization, etc. To solve the problem and stop further acts of prejudice, you need to address the underlying pattern - racism - and not just the individual acts. (This may take time, of course.)
19. Act naturally. There's no need to treat people of color (or anyone who's different from yourself) with kid gloves. Just be yourself, and be fair.
20. Do your own work. Take the initiative to learn about racism and how to fight it, rather than passively depending on people of color to just call you out when you accidentally act racist. You don't want to just stand by while oppression is going on! There are tons of resources out there to learn about racism (and I'll be posting more on it myself). This site is a good start. http://racism.org/
21. Be understanding toward other white people. You were once in their shoes as some "less knowledgeable" about racism. You may still have racist assumptions that pop up from time to time (I know I do!). Nobody's perfect, and sympathy and gentle correction go a lot further to changing minds than do anger and frustration.
22. Walk the walk. Wimps and poseurs, leave the hall! Just appearing anti-racist is not going to change anything - you need to take decisive action to make a difference.
23. Think big. As some previous points have explained, racism is an institution. Changing your own behavior goes a tiny way toward making change, but significant change can only be effected by tackling the systemic patterns of racism throughout society.
24. Broaden your circle. Make an extra effort to include people of color in your social activities. For me personally, this means making an effort to talk to people of color at metal concerts and goth/industrial clubs, so that they feel welcome. This is necessary because these events are generally dominated by white people, even though metal and goth/industrial culture are for everyone. In the face of this exclusiveness, an extra effort is needed to make people of color feel welcome. (This doesn't mean any special treatment. Just being friendly, so they don't feel left out in a sea of whiteness. "Hey, cool shirt, man," is probably the most I could manage with most people, but who knows, I might make some new friends :) )
25. Give generously. There's no need to keep a tally of how many anti-racist actions you've taken, or to expect anything in return, not even thanks. (See #25) Give freely of your time, energy and material resources without keeping score.
26. Speak up! Standing by while racism happens is colluding with racism. It can be scary to speak up, whether the person you need to speak up to is your friend or your boss, and there may even be times when it actually is better to remain silent for now, and take action later (as mentioned in the St. Cloud document itself). Remind yourself that nothing worth doing is easy, and screw your courage to the sticking place and take a stand.
27. Do it for yourself. Of course fighting racism helps people of color, but expecting their gratitude should not be your motivation for doing so. Find the motivation within yourself - to fight racism because it's the right thing to do, because it will make the world better for everybody - including yourself.
28. Perseverance! This issue's roots stretch back centuries. One challenged remark or blog post or campaign isn't going to solve it. Dig in for the long haul, because we may well be fighting this battle for the rest of our lives. But it's a good fight, and we can do it - through perseverance, against all opposition!
That being said, I think it is important to read the original list as well. There are a lot of particular phrases and arguments in there that it would do well to steer clear of. So after checking out that list, here's my list of things I feel one should do to be a better anti-racist. It's long and jumps about a bit and repeats itself slightly - but hopefully there are some nuggets of wisdom in there anyway. Most of these points could be applied to other forms of discrimination and prejudice as well.
Last disclaimer: I didn't know or come up with most of this stuff - I'm just spouting my reflections on the St. Cloud document I linked to above. The real credit goes to them for compiling that very eye-opening list of racist attitudes and behaviors. Here are my thoughts on how to take action on them:
1. Celebrate different appearances and cultures. There is so much richness in the world! There's no need to try and ignore it and make everyone the same. Same is boring!
2. Realize that racism may have played a role in your success and that of others in your family, community, etc. Realize that racism still exists and is still making it harder for people of color to succeed. The playing field is not level. Do what you can to be fair to each individual based on this realization. Fair is not equal. Fair is what's right based on the situation. (Maybe more later on this slogan that I stole from teaching!)
3. Confront your privilege, not people who are pointing it out or reacting to it. It might feel uncomfortable. That's not reverse racism. That's just your conscience. It's ok. It's good that you have one. Now, use that conscience and discomfort to sympathize with people of color and to get energized for acting against racism.
4. Take responsibility. Even if you were not directly responsible for a racist incident, racism as a whole is the fault of white people. (In the US, anyway. In other countries, things may be different, such as Asian countries where one dominant ethnic group is favored over others.) Trying to shift the blame is grossly unfair. Instead, accept the problem and tackle it head on.
5. Work with people of color, not for them. We can only achieve progress against racism through understanding, cooperation and unity. If you're so inclined, get to know people of color and work with them to fight racism. If you're not so inclined...well, it's going to be hard for you to fight racism if you don't actually know any people of color.
6. Listen. If people of color are hurt or offended by something you or others do, it's a sign you should change it and/or oppose it. Even if it was a joke. Why would you want to continue doing something that hurts others??
7. Examine your thoughts and behavior. Especially if you have been called out for doing or saying something racist. Racism is very insidious. I still catch myself making assumptions about people based on race. It could be something automatic you don't even think about, or a way of thinking or perceiving people that you don't even realize is racist. The first step to solving the problem is acknowledging it. To change my thoughts, I adopted the slogan "we're all people" to stop myself from judging others based on skin color (sexual orientation, income level, etc) and remind myself of everyone's basic worth as a human being.
8. Use your own experience to empathize, but not to divert attention. Internally, you can think about the times you faced oppression or hardship in order to create compassion for a person facing racism. Externally, talking about your experience will probably not help, just like if a friend came to you with a problem and you just blabbed about yourself instead of listening to him or her.
9. Educate yourself. There's no excuse for not knowing about the state of the world today. You have news at your fingertips, and if you read it, you will find that sadly, there is very much that is unjust going on in the world. (This is something I need to work on myself - I don't read the news nearly often enough.)
10. Stay focused. There are times when multiple forms of oppression need to be addressed at once, or when you may need to ally with people fighting other forms of discrimination (see #17). But if other forms of oppression are not relevant to the issue at hand, then you should stay focused on the problem of racism, and not bring up other topics.
11. Examine institutions critically. Racism is institutionalized. That's what makes it racism and not just prejudice. Society as a whole has ingrained patterns that discriminate against people of color, and institutions such as law enforcement, schools, media and business reflect these patterns. Question the messages that institutions send.
12. It's not who you know, it's what you do. Just having personal interactions with people of color isn't usually enough to make someone an anti-racist. You have to be willing to question your actions and beliefs, question the way our society works and take action to change things.
13. Do something! It can be scary to confront racism, but imagine how much worse it is for the person experiencing it. Saying sorry afterward is too late - do what you can to stop racism when/before it happens. Better yet, get involved in a larger effort to stop racism altogether.
14. Educate others. Instead of making excuses for your friend or relative who says or does racist things, communicate with that person about why what they're doing is offensive and hurtful. It might take several tries. It might take a lifetime. Nothing's going to change if you don't try.
15. Realize that racism is the default in US society. Everyone has it; it's transmitted to us by our parents, our schools and communities, the media, filling us with assumptions about people we've never met, assumptions that breed misunderstanding, fear, dislike, intolerance and hate, assumptions that are heavily skewed to give power to whites and deny it to people of color. And because everyone has it, it's everyone's problem. You can't avoid it. In order to change things, everyone has to acknowledge the problem and work together for a more just society.
16. Make yourself something to be proud of. You don't need to appropriate someone else's culture to show how enlightened you are. Doing so is actually just another form of oppression. Instead, make yourself and your culture something to be proud of, by showing compassion and understanding for others, refusing to oppress others and working to dismantle the societal patterns that do so. You have the power to give up your power. Don't run away from that decision by pretending to be something you're not!
17. Make anti-racism part of your portfolio. So you're a gay rights activist, or an activist for people with disabilities, or a feminist. That's great! Why not also be an anti-racist? Why stand for any kind of discrimination or oppression? We should take a stand against oppression whenever and wherever we see it - no one of these causes takes precedence over another, and there's no reason why if you stand for one, you can't stand for the others as well.
18. Address the overall problem. Racism is not just individual acts of prejudice, it's a pattern of such acts that forms an institution of oppression against people of color. Individual acts of prejudice are generally signs of that pattern acting itself out in your group, community, organization, etc. To solve the problem and stop further acts of prejudice, you need to address the underlying pattern - racism - and not just the individual acts. (This may take time, of course.)
19. Act naturally. There's no need to treat people of color (or anyone who's different from yourself) with kid gloves. Just be yourself, and be fair.
20. Do your own work. Take the initiative to learn about racism and how to fight it, rather than passively depending on people of color to just call you out when you accidentally act racist. You don't want to just stand by while oppression is going on! There are tons of resources out there to learn about racism (and I'll be posting more on it myself). This site is a good start. http://racism.org/
21. Be understanding toward other white people. You were once in their shoes as some "less knowledgeable" about racism. You may still have racist assumptions that pop up from time to time (I know I do!). Nobody's perfect, and sympathy and gentle correction go a lot further to changing minds than do anger and frustration.
22. Walk the walk. Wimps and poseurs, leave the hall! Just appearing anti-racist is not going to change anything - you need to take decisive action to make a difference.
23. Think big. As some previous points have explained, racism is an institution. Changing your own behavior goes a tiny way toward making change, but significant change can only be effected by tackling the systemic patterns of racism throughout society.
24. Broaden your circle. Make an extra effort to include people of color in your social activities. For me personally, this means making an effort to talk to people of color at metal concerts and goth/industrial clubs, so that they feel welcome. This is necessary because these events are generally dominated by white people, even though metal and goth/industrial culture are for everyone. In the face of this exclusiveness, an extra effort is needed to make people of color feel welcome. (This doesn't mean any special treatment. Just being friendly, so they don't feel left out in a sea of whiteness. "Hey, cool shirt, man," is probably the most I could manage with most people, but who knows, I might make some new friends :) )
25. Give generously. There's no need to keep a tally of how many anti-racist actions you've taken, or to expect anything in return, not even thanks. (See #25) Give freely of your time, energy and material resources without keeping score.
26. Speak up! Standing by while racism happens is colluding with racism. It can be scary to speak up, whether the person you need to speak up to is your friend or your boss, and there may even be times when it actually is better to remain silent for now, and take action later (as mentioned in the St. Cloud document itself). Remind yourself that nothing worth doing is easy, and screw your courage to the sticking place and take a stand.
27. Do it for yourself. Of course fighting racism helps people of color, but expecting their gratitude should not be your motivation for doing so. Find the motivation within yourself - to fight racism because it's the right thing to do, because it will make the world better for everybody - including yourself.
28. Perseverance! This issue's roots stretch back centuries. One challenged remark or blog post or campaign isn't going to solve it. Dig in for the long haul, because we may well be fighting this battle for the rest of our lives. But it's a good fight, and we can do it - through perseverance, against all opposition!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)