On Wednesday, the Prince William County (VA) school board voted to postpone a decision on adding sexual orientation and gender identity to the school district's non-discrimination policy until the second meeting in June 2017.
The motion to postpone the vote on the policy change was put forward by Diane Raulston, on the basis that she felt they ought to wait until either the Virginia Supreme Court or the U.S. Supreme Court makes a decision on a lawsuit against the addition of sexual orientation and gender identity to Fairfax County's non-discrimination policy.
She apparently thought this would happen by October, but then was advised that it probably would not happen any time soon. Since by procedure she was required to specify a date to reconsider the motion (or postpone it indefinitely) she chose June of next year. Five board members voted in favor of postponing a decision on the policy. Only Chairman Ryan Sawyers voted against the delay, and Loree Williams abstained.
This seems nonsensical on the surface, given that the policy they were to discuss and vote on had already been amended to state that the bathroom and locker room issue, the most contentious part, would await guidance from the courts. Almost all of the citizens who spoke in opposition to the policy on Wednesday night focused on bathrooms and locker rooms.
But if the policy already sidestepped this issue, why postpone the whole thing?
Those who oppose the policy change accuse Chairman Sawyers political motivations for bringing forth this policy, but in fact it's the five board members who voted to delay it that are playing politics.
They saw how vocal the opposition was, and did not want to face the political fallout that would come from supporting even a watered-down version of the LGBTQ policy. Instead, they used the convenient excuse of "waiting for the courts" to avoid even discussing the merits of the policy.
If there's a silver lining, it's that at least they didn't dismiss the policy change outright. At least they're willing to consider it again. And my belief is that most of the board has the sense that protecting LGBTQ students is the right thing to do.
Just that aside from Chairman Sawyers and member Loree Williams, they don't feel sure enough on transgender issues to stand up to a raving crowd of misinformed conservatives.
The bad news is that now LGBTQ students will have to endure another whole school year without explicit protection from bullying, and LGBTQ employees will spend another year in fear for their jobs. Indeed, I wouldn't be surprised if the climate got worse for LGBTQ people in PWC schools, thanks to the postpone of this policy, which seems to say, "No, we don't care, go ahead and harass LGBTQ people."
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Of the 100+ Prince William County citizens who spoke before the board over the course of six hours on Wednesday night, almost all of them were opposed to the policy, and almost all of them in turn fixated on the issue of bathrooms and locker rooms, in a way that revealed gross misunderstanding and lack of respect for trans people.
Misgendering of trans people. The policy would not allow boys or men to go into girls' bathrooms and locker rooms. It would guarantee the right of transgender girls to use these facilities along with other girls. Conservatives reject the gender identities of trans people, seeing no difference between a trans girl and a cisgender boy. But the American Psychological Association has recognized that transgenderedness is a real thing, and that trans girls ought to be seen as girls and trans boys as boys.
People who have never met an actual trans person (that they know of) are probably not aware of the transformation that happens when someone transitions. Even without hormones or other medical interventions, the change in appearance and behavior can be dramatic. This is not to say that trans people do or have to conform to male and female gender norms - but a binary trans person will likely look and act much like any other person of their gender. A trans woman is not just a "man in a dress," but a woman through and through.
Fear-mongering about sexual assault. The parent of a trans high-schooler and non-binary middle-schooler called it when she said that this was demonstration of the pervasiveness of rape culture. Apparently, it's taken for granted that boys are going to attempt to go into girls' facilities to assault girls and that schools are not going to be able to prevent such assaults. Rather than placing the responsibility - or even just the expectation - on boys to behave themselves, another class of citizens has to be disenfranchised for the "protection" of girls.
There is no connection between transgender bathroom use and the incidence of sexual assaults and harassment in bathrooms. In general, trans people just want to go in, use the bathroom, and get out, often even more discreetly then cis people, due to understandable nervousness about using bathrooms in a transphobic world. And people who want to sneak into bathrooms to assault other people will do so regardless of transgender bathroom policies, and it will still be against the law, just like assault under any other circumstances. Transgender bathroom policies do not protect these kinds of people. They protect ordinary trans folk who are just trying to pee, in privacy.
Let's be clear though. While there are probably some people who are truly frightened of cis men being allowed into women's bathrooms under trans bathroom protections, for conservative politicians this is just a front. They are less concerned about the problem of sexual assault than about demonizing trans women. Just ask them when they've last supported Take Back the Night or a similar movement and you'll see how much they actually care about sexual assault.
Passing personal belief off as science. News flash: science no longer holds that chromosomes or genitalia equal gender identity, or even that any of these are limited to the binary of male and female. There are more chromosomal combinations than just XX and XY, and ambiguous genitals also happen. Gender identity, meanwhile, is acknowledged as an internal sense of being male, female or something else, which may or may not correlate with one's physical body or what was assigned at birth. Throughout the medical establishment, the consensus is becoming stronger and stronger that transgender and non-binary identities are valid and that the ideal "treatment" for individuals with these identities is affirmation and support.
Obsession with strangers' genitalia. Usually we call that perversion, but for some reason, when we're talking about transgender people, even minors, it's ok? One of the speakers said that he would be uncomfortable using a restroom with someone with female genitalia. As a trans guy, I'm uncomfortable that he's thinking about my genitals! How is that ok? If he were to openly talk about the genitals of a cisgender man or woman, that would be labeled sexual harassment. But because trans people are seen as less than human, people think it's ok to talk about our genitals in public. No! It's not ok, and if you're doing it, you're being pervy and committing harassment. You wouldn't want your private parts to be the topic of conversation around the water cooler, so don't do it to us, either.
Probably one of the most frustrating things about that night was hearing lie after lie, and not being able to say anything to contradict them, and seeing so few people take the stand to defend LGBTQ people and especially transgender people. Where were they? Where were the people who elected these Democratic board members in the first place? Where were the GSA's? It is understandable that students might be afraid to come out so publicly, and LGBTQ employees would be afraid of losing their jobs - the Chairman mentioned receiving emails saying as much. But where were the parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, guidance counselors, and others who might speak for those afraid to speak for themselves?
***
Possibly the most worthwhile part of the night, meanwhile, was listening to and participating in a conversation between my girlfriend (an out transgender woman and a survivor of Catholic school) and a less-judgmental pastor. Their conversation partly inspired some thoughts on sin which I jotted down earlier.
This particular pastor held that being homosexual or transgender is a sin and that the Bible has the answers to all life's questions and problems, but he also seemed more open-minded and accepting than some of the other conservative faith leaders. Almost a "live and let live" sort of person.
He did try to liken being trans or gay to being unfaithful to one's spouse - one might have urges to do certain things, but that doesn't mean it's right to act on them. I wasn't part of the conversation at that point so I didn't say anything, but I what I wanted to say was:
The difference is that, when you're unfaithful, you're hurting someone. Whether you're monogamous or poly, being unfaithful means you're breaking your partner's trust, doing something they wouldn't want to happen and probably lying to them to boot. Being gay or trans, meanwhile, doesn't in and of itself hurt anyone else. And it can be very liberating to be open to it, and can allow someone who was previously repressed to find sincere, wholehearted love, In short, it brings good things to yourself and your potential partner. Arguing that I'm hurting myself with my transgender and queer "lifestyle" by jeopardizing my eternal soul is invalid, since it presumes I believe in the same standards for judging souls that you do. (I don't.) And trying to force your beliefs on me - well, that's generally not ok.
Later on, the pastor asked me what I believed in, and since he was being so friendly and open, I told him. (I hope to write up a post about my spiritual beliefs pretty soon here. It will start with, "I have a sort of anthropological view on religion...") I have to give him credit for staying cool while I told him that I thought all religions, including Christianity, are "made up" and "mythology." I'm not used to talking to Christians, and am generally frank to the point of tactlessness anyway. However, he did not seem fazed, and gave me his business card and invited me and my gf to come to a service at his church.
I don't know about sitting through all that, but the gf is interested in doing outreach at churches to spread some much-needed awareness about trans people.
***
On Thursday morning, I had a an anxiety attack.
I was in the middle of a dream related to the school board meeting when my alarm must have gone off - although I don't remember that - and I floundered for a while between dreaming and waking, confused, hurt and afraid. Matters probably weren't helped by the less than three hours of sleep I'd had and definitely weren't helped by the fact that my girlfriend, my main source of emotional support, was going out of town for the weekend.
I began to be afraid of my own fear and spiraled down into a near paralysis of helpless despair.
Nothing could really help. Staying in bed all day wouldn't have helped - I'd just have become more paralyzed.
Eventually, somehow, I managed to drag myself out of bed, get dressed and go off to work. Doing things made the anxiety recede until I was able to tiptoe around it, functioning almost normally.
While processing things with my therapist today, she pointed out that meeting that much transphobia - six hours' worth - so suddenly must have been a traumatic experience. It made sense to be upset.
But also, I recalled one of the teenage girls who spoke against the non-discrimination policy saying that she was sick with fear of encountering a "boy" in the bathroom or locker room.
I have some idea how she feels, since it sounds similar to the way I felt about living in a very often transphobic world on Thursday morning.
It made me realize that although people on "the other side" are misinformed, they are also human and are suffering from their ignorance, sometimes just as much as I am.
And it's not like I know everything, either. The conversation with the pastor taught me things about the Christian viewpoint that I had never realized before.
We have to find a way to come together, to diminish suffering and ignorance, and make things better for all of us.
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Edit, 9/24/16: I misremembered which Board member made the motion to postpone the vote on the policy. It was Diane Raulston, not Lillie Jessie.
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