I just got back from the Prince William County (VA) school board meeting where the addition of sexual orientation and gender identity to the school district's non-discrimination policy was discussed, and I can't sleep because my brain is whirring up a storm over all the stuff that was said tonight.
A lot of it was good. There were a lot of people speaking in support of the addition to the non-discrimination policy. But I worry it wasn't enough to counteract the inaccurate, illogical and unscientific remarks of the opposition, and the waffling of some school board members.
Three of the school board members insisted they needed more time to discuss how exactly the policy would be implemented. What is there to discuss? You're adding five words to the non-discrimination policy. Once that's done, you can hammer out exactly how you're going to implement it. Even that is not so difficult - many schools, districts and organizations have already done it, and you could just leave the details up to the individual school.
Obsessing about how the policy will be implemented is really just an excuse to do nothing. What it really means is, I'm not ready to accept transgender students, so I need more time to "think about it." It might be to the school board member's credit, if they are actually willing to think about it and wrap their heads around transgender issues. But equally likely, it's just an excuse. Because it's not politic to say, "I oppose this because I'm uncomfortable with trans people," so instead they say, "We need more time to think about it." Doing nothing in the meantime, and possibly never. As my girlfriend (who, being a PWC resident, spoke at the meeting) pointed out, they already had seven months to think about it, research and come up with ways to implement it.
Two of the school board members also said there was no need for such a policy. Probably not coincidentally, they were both white men. It's easy to say nothing's wrong when you're privileged. Also probably not coincidentally, the three black women on the school board all said some variation of "Discrimination against any person is wrong." The school board chairman also made a very astute observation: "The majority does not need to be protected, because it will always protect itself."
Those who say there's no need for codification of sexual orientation and gender identity in the non-discrimination policy blatantly ignored the testimony of the alumni, parents and staff who described bullying of LGBTQ students in PWC schools. They ignored the testimony of the counselor who talked about how LGBTQ students suffer levels of anxiety that interfere with their studies. And they are ignoring the high suicide rates of LGBTQ youth, which stem directly from hostile environments.
"Even if it saves one student," one of the school board members said, "it's the right thing to do."
Then there was the misinformation spouted by the citizens who spoke in opposition to the policy change. They routinely used incorrect terminology, such as referring to a transgender boy as a "transitioning female." It's not just offensive but actually confusing. For a moment or two I thought he was talking about a trans girl, but then it became apparent he meant a trans boy. Whaaa? Just use the standard terminology so everyone knows what you mean. Oh, and here's a protip for policymakers: If someone doesn't even know the proper terminology for talking about trans people, chances are they also don't know much about the actual lives and experiences of trans people. You may want to keep that in mind.
And then there were the references to "choosing a gender identity" and "gender confusion." Yeah...both the American Medical Association (AMA)* and American Psychological Association (APA)** recognize gender dysphoria as an actual thing and assert that the most effective treatment is supporting trans people to live as the gender they identify with. But apparently we should just disregard what the medical professionals say, because what do they know?
*Since AMA's policy on transgender healthcare was passed in 2008, this fact sheet uses outdated terminology - "gender identity disorder" has by now been replaced by "gender dysphoria."
**TLDR? See pg. 15, "Psychologists recognize that
TGNC people are more likely to experience
positive life outcomes when they receive
social support or trans-affirmative care."
The thing is, for trans people, trying to "just deal with it," to live as the gender they were assigned at birth, generally leads to depression and from there often to suicide attempts (41% of the population). That is the essence of gender dysphoria - a crippling inability to "deal with" living as the gender you were assigned, and the choice of either living as your authentic self or facing a likely downward spiral. For me, it means I'd rather constrict my body with a binder than let my chest show and rather stick a needle in my thigh once a week than go back to having curves.
And then the privacy issue. As a trans person who has used pool and gym locker rooms, I can tell you that I am even more interested - desperately so - in not letting anyone see those parts that don't align with my identity, than anyone else. I'd wager just about every other trans person feels similarly. We don't even want to see those parts of ourselves; no way are we letting other people see.
I realize it can be hard to wrap your head around the idea that a girl or a boy may have different parts than what you're used to. I know because I've been there. I have to admit, when I first dated a trans woman, in the beginning I had to get over a certain distaste for certain parts that didn't sync in my mind with the idea that she was a woman. Even though in my head I theoretically supported trans identities, there was a visceral reaction I had to get over to really, fully accept trans bodies. And gradually, I did. The human mind can get used to just about anything, and the concept that gender identity transcends bodies is one that we're all going to have to learn eventually.
And for most people, it doesn't even have to be that graphic. Step back and think a moment. Is it really appropriate to be thinking about the genitals of strangers? Do you want other people thinking about you that way? No? Well then, maybe just leave the genitals of trans people alone. It's actually not anyone else's business.
So if we care so much about privacy, what about the privacy of transgender students? Why exactly is it the business of strangers what their genitalia are? That is between the student, their parents and their doctor. All anyone else needs to know is, this student identifies as male, or female, or non-binary. It may be helpful for the school to know the student is trans, in order to provide support, but what their genitalia are? That's none of the school's business, and certainly not the business of other parents. I mean, would you want other parents talking about your kid's genitals? Then why treat trans kids any different? They're people too and deserve respect like everyone else.
One of the most disturbing things said by the opposition was brought up by a civil rights lawyer (who should know better), who mentioned some of his clients being young girls who had been sexually assaulted and would be traumatized at having a transgender girl (not his actual word choice - it was something much less respectful) sharing a locker room with them. Firstly, it's highly unlikely that anyone else would be seeing a trans person's parts in the locker room, as I explained above. And secondly, the usual policy is to have a different facility for the persons who have an issue with the trans person. I realize this might seem unfair to the survivors of assault, though. It's a delicate balancing act, balancing the rights and needs of trans people and survivors of assault, but there's no reason it couldn't be resolved without denying either of them. Perhaps they could be scheduled in different gym classes at different times of day. Perhaps they could civilly agree to work on their differences. Sexual assault survivors are not an excuse or pawn for discriminating against trans people.
It's not as if this can't all be worked out. Just ask the schools and athletic teams that have already done it. Outside the meeting, I talked a parent of a transgender child who has an IEP (Individualized Education Program, a document that describes the services schools will provide to a particular student with special needs). An IEP could spell out how all of this is handled, from bathrooms and locker rooms to overnight trips. But the opposition isn't legitimately interested in solving the problem; they just want to use bathrooms and locker rooms as a scare tactic. There were a couple parents at the meeting who I think were honestly just saying, I want to know how the gender identity policy will be carried out. The school board could show them existing IEP's for transgender students. Every transgender student is different, anyway, and will have different comfort levels and needs when it comes to integrating into a gendered environment, so it makes sense to come up with individualized plans.
Plus, the opposition seems not to understand that harassment, assault and bullying can happen between cisgender students of the same gender, too. It is not as if transgender students are inherently dangerous or add something to the mix that didn't already exist. All students deserve to be protected from these kinds of incidents, and schools should have policies and procedures to make sure of that, whether the students in an environment are all the same gender or not, whether they are cis or trans.
The thing is, when it comes to bathrooms and locker rooms, trans people are much more likely to be the victims of assault. Their right to use these facilities without being attacked are in much more dire need of protection than cis people's desire to not feel uncomfortable. LGBTQ students in general meet with high rates of harassment, and the consequences are tragic. There is no time to lose, and no matter how long you wait, there will always be people who are uncomfortable with change. But delaying protection of LGBTQ students will only lead to more bullying and more lives lost.
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