I will not be speaking at the Prince William County (VA) school board meeting next week where they will vote on adding sexual orientation and gender identity to the school district's non-discrimination policy, because I am not a resident of Prince William County. However, I have a lot of things to say to everyone concerned in the matter, so I'm writing some open letters. Think of it kind of like an amicus brief. I was going to do them all in one post, but they started to get long and I started to run out of time, so here is the first, most important one:
To the Prince William County School Board,
Next week, you have the chance to decide whether to protect some of your most vulnerable students, or to give a carte blanche to those who would harass LGBTQ students, deny rights to transgender students, and jeopardize not just the education but the lives of these students.
If you oppose the policy change, ask yourself if you really believe a class of students should be excluded from fair treatment, or if you're just uncomfortable with those who are different from you, or with the ire of those who hate others just for being different.
Separate is never equal. Unless a transgender student specifically requests it for their comfort or safety, making a trans student use a separate bathroom due to superficial characteristics is inherently unfair. I say superficial because no matter our physical configuration, we are all human and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Is it respectful to turn a blind eye to the bullying faced by LGBTQ students? Is it dignified for a transgender student to to stigmatized by being excluded from bathrooms and locker rooms?
I hope you have listened, and will listen, those who are directly concerned in this policy change - the LGBTQ students and staff of Prince William County. They are the ones who will be most significantly benefited, or mostly deeply harmed, by whether or not you choose to approve this change. For LGBTQ students facing harassment and the resulting isolation, depression and anxiety, this could be a life or death issue.
Some of you had questions about how the policy would be implemented. But these questions are just dancing around the heart of the matter - that some people are uncomfortable with trans people in bathrooms and locker rooms, and are coming up with endless, but vaguely phrased, questions to create delay and to cover up and avoid facing their discomfort with trans people. The actual implementation could be very simple. The sexual orientation part could be handled with a memo informing everyone, "Harassment or discrimination based on sexual orientation is not to be tolerated." The social transition of transgender students could be handled with IEP's, allowing each trans student to realize their social transition in their own way, and creating no extra work for the Board. There is no need to waste time discussing this, when the real issue is: some people don't want trans people in bathrooms and locker rooms, no matter how you implement it.
I implore you examine the reasons why. Do you really believe trans students are a danger to other students, or that they just want to use the bathroom and change for gym the same as anyone else? Do you really believe trans people, who are incredibly anxious about their body parts, would willingly let anyone see them? Or that trans students nervous about being accepted would do anything untoward in the bathroom or locker room? Or that it is acceptable for other students and parents to pry into a trans student's privacy, wanting to know about their genitals or how they go to the bathroom? This is what the debate is about. "How" is just an excuse to avoid facing the question of "why." Because all the answer boils down to is, "They're different." Trans people's gender identities are different from the "norm." And that is no valid reason to exclude them. That is the very definition of discrimination.
The bathroom debate also calls into question the validity of transgender identities. This is not something new or made up. Trans people have been around as long as people have - prehistoric remains have been found that were "physically" one gender but buried in a fashion usually reserved for the other binary gender, indicating that even in prehistoric times, there seem to have been transgender people. Gender variance occurs across a wide range of cultures and throughout history. Physical sex characteristics even vary, since about 1% of the population is born intersex. Moreover, gender dysphoria is recognized by the American Psychological Association and the American Medical Association with the recommended treatment being supporting trans people in living as the gender they identify with. Not allowing transgender students and staff to use the restrooms consistent with their gender identities would be ignoring their medical needs.
You could debate the implementation of the policy forever - and that is what anti-transgender activists want you to do, not just to avoid implementing protection for LGBTQ, and especially the T, students and staff, but also to disguise their real motive - hate and discrimination for no other reasons than misunderstanding, fear and ignorance of those who are different, an inflated imaginary threat that bears no resemblance to real medical basis, psychological struggles and fundamental humanity of trans people. Do not be distracted by their inflammatory falsehoods and needless delaying tactics from the real question: what is fair? For some students to be bullied and denied access to school facilities, just because of the sense of self they were born with? Is that really something you want to stand for? Or would you rather stand for respectful, equitable treatment of all students?
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