There's Aydian Dowling and Caitlyn Jenner, and then there's the rest of us

First off, let me congratulate Mr. Dowling and Ms. Jenner. The attention they've received from the media wouldn't be happening without a lot of hard work on their part, or without the courage not just to be themselves, but to bare themselves to the public. I wish them the best in all their endeavors.

Now, I just wish I could see people like me in the media.

Although I'm not sure that's even possible, considering that the biggest part of my identity comes from underground scenes, goth and metal, which are by definition outside the media spotlight.

Or considering that anyone who graces a magzine cover is inevitably sculpted and airbrushed and generally pretty far from what your average person looks like.

But when we're talking about a group that's either invisible - when we "pass" - or likely to be harrassed when we're not, then showing the world what real trans* people look like becomes important. We all know what the average heteronormative person looks like, so it's easy to see that cisgender celebrities we see in the media don't reflect the general population. But when the only images of trans* people that are shown are those that conform as far as possible to society's standards of what "men" and "women" look like, that creates a problem. Because not all trans* people do, can or even want to conform to those standards, and as long as the public's image of trans* people is "they should look just like cis people," then the non-conforming individuals will continue to be harassed.

Not only that, but the media coverage tends to focus on trans* people's bodies and the procedures that were necessary to bring about that look. Hormones. Chest surgery. Facial feminization surgery. This focus on bodies and physical transitions superficializes trans* people and emphasizes the popular conception that we're "trying to be something we're really not." In her 2007 book Whipping Girl, Julia Serano argued that the media focuses on the "artifical" aspects of trans people's transitions in order to enforce an "impenetrable class boundary" between the sexes, to make it seem impossible for someone who was assigned male to really be female, or vice versa: "Playing up the 'artificial' aspects of the transformation process gives one the impression that the class barrier itself is 'natural,' one that could not have been crossed if it were not for modern medical technology." She goes on,

Of course, it is true that plastic surgeries[1] and sex reassignments are 'artificial,' but then again so are the exercise bikes we work out on, the antiwrinkle moisturizers we smear on our faces, the dyes we use to color our hair, the clothes we buy to complement our figures, and the TV shows, movies, magazines, and billboards that bombard us with 'ideal' images of gender, size, and beauty that set the standards that we try to live up to in the first place. The class systems based on attractiveness and gender are extraordinarily 'artifical'--yet only those practices that seem to subvert those classes (rather than affirm them) are ever characterized as such. (pg. 59)

[1] In her analysis, Ms. Serano compares media portrayals of transitioning trans people with depictions of people losing massive amounts of weight or having extreme plastic surgeries.

So it's not just us. People are constantly changing and shaping their bodies to better suit how they want to look and how they want to be perceived. It's all a matter of expressing who you really are inside.

And when it comes to gender, there's an infinite variety of ways to express oneself. No way are we limited to just the buff, bearded guy and the traditionally pretty woman. If that's what someone feels themselves to be, then of course it's fine, but there's no limit to the ways we can present ourselves. Anyone who says, "you have to look like this to be trans" or "you have to look like this to be a man/ woman" is just plain wrong. Cis or trans*, gender expression is ours to do as we wish. And it's something more than just "passing," or fitting or transgressing society's norms - it's showing who we really are.

So let's celebrate us, the real us, in all our variety!

Might as well start with a photo of me. This was taken about a month ago (on May 8, 2015). My sports bro strap shows. Let's pretend I did that on purpose to make a point. Like in my recent rant about society's expectations of trans men, I picked a photo where I'm not making my "ugly metal face" so you can see how I really look. Also, my hair is pulled back, like it is about 90% of the time. (You can see me with my waist length death metal hair on display in that other post.)

And my girlfriend suggested this one:

Yay, cute trans love :D

My hope is to gather a bunch of photos of "the rest of us" here - but considering that people may be kind of uncomfortable being publicly identified as trans*, we'll see how that goes. If you want me to include your photo, email it to castleofwinter at gmail.com. You don't have include your name, face or anything identifying if you don't want to; or if you want me to include your name or a little blurb explaining who you are or anything, that would also be cool. You don't have to meet any standard of "transness" or "masculine" or "feminine" to participate in this; that's what it's all about, showing the variety of our community. You may even send multiple photos if you feel like, "sometimes I look like this and sometimes I look like this." Thanks in advance for making my post cooler! :D

Alternatively - I don't really do the hashtag thing, because I don't twitter, but if people want to post their own photos, someone could start the hashtag "#therestofus".

Update: Even better, there's now a meme showcasing the variety of trans and gender-nonconforming self expression. A tumblr user started a trend of trans* people creating their own Vanity Fair covers. (More MyVanityFairCovers)

I thought of making one, but there are already so many photos of me going, this is what this one trans guy looks like, dammit! I figured I'd already done enough.

And update! The New York Times is also doing a project showcasing the diverse stories of trans * people. Yay, we're being recognized!